Messier and Gretzky, in love. 

I can't sleep and I am moving out at the end of this month. I can't wait. True, its further away from work, school and the gym BUT I will be away from all that I need to be away from. I will not be forced to breath the expired air of others. I will have a large room and another large room and a just a room. I will make chocolates and sing Christmas carols all alone or against the back of Aly face pressed sleepy tween her shoulder blades. If the snow ever falls I'll be happier than I've been in years...even without a safe future.

Seethe Apparition

Maybe if I had a room of my own, a place
of my own, where I could be reminded less
and less of your stolen hearts and your
feeble slurs, I would celebrate the pros, the
Professional, and more: the kindly benefits of
having you dear, but yes, until such a time
the guilt of debt reforms itself, until I
despise every mismanagement on your part
because I'm unjustified in complaining;
I'm a hypocrite if I peep about neglect or
respect or communicative responsibility.
If I whine. A Louse if lousy. O' t'is true
I know the heights of your generosity but
I a;so know too frequently, your broken
trenches and bare heart. It's not a matter
of 'love of hate' but a matter of shame
and a blurred line between what perception
of you I am able to bring to mind at will
in the selfish morning and boorishly
against my will come night. You're not
wrong because of my irresponsibility;
my financial and general inabilities.
You're wrong because I can't tell you
how dreadfully wrong I feel you are, and
the justice in my mind can't absolve you
from this serpentine sentiment I too often
project towards the apparition of you